Leadership and Self-Deception: 8 key ideas
The core ideas of Leadership and Self-Deception, each in under a minute, written in our own words. Want the full depth? Get the book.
- IDEA 1 OF 8
Self-deception harms leadership
The Arbinger Institute tells the story of a manager at a fictional company who learns that many workplace problems come from self-deception.
People fail to see how they themselves contribute to conflicts and blame others instead.
- IDEA 2 OF 8
We can be in the box
The book describes being in the box, a state where we see others as objects or obstacles rather than as people.
In the box, we distort reality to justify ourselves.
- IDEA 3 OF 8
Self-betrayal puts us in the box
The authors explain that we enter the box when we betray our own sense of what we should do for others.
We then justify ourselves. In the authors' view, this happens when we know we should help someone but choose not to, and then see that person differently.
- IDEA 4 OF 8
We justify our failures
After self-betrayal, people exaggerate others' faults and their own virtues.
This self-justification keeps them in the box. In the authors' view, we need a reason to feel right, so we tell ourselves a story in which we are good and others are to blame.
- IDEA 5 OF 8
Boxes create collusion
When people in boxes interact, they provoke each other and keep conflicts going.
This is called collusion. In the authors' view, one person's blame feeds the other's blame, and both end up trapped in the same unhappy cycle.
- IDEA 6 OF 8
People are people, not objects
The authors argue that seeing others as people with needs and feelings changes behaviour.
Respect transforms relationships. In the authors' view, when we see a person as someone with hopes and troubles like our own, we are less likely to blame them.
- IDEA 7 OF 8
Leaving the box is possible
The authors suggest that we leave the box when we stop resisting others and see them as people.
Awareness helps. In the authors' view, noticing that we are in the box is a first step towards changing how we treat others.
- IDEA 8 OF 8
Leaders must stay outside the box
The authors argue that leaders who are out of the box create better results.
They invite others to do the same. In the authors' view, a leader who sees people as people brings out better work, and the example encourages others to do likewise.
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