Author

William Ury

16 key ideas across 2 books, each explained in our own words.

Getting Past No

IDEA 1
Difficult people need a strategy
Ury offers a strategy for negotiating with difficult people who stonewall, attack or trick. His five-step approach aims to turn adversaries into partners in solving problems. Each step is meant to be used in order.
IDEA 2
Go to the balcony
The first step is to go to the balcony, stepping back mentally to stay calm. Pausing prevents reacting emotionally. From there you can see the problem clearly instead of getting pulled into anger.
IDEA 3
Step to their side
The second step is to disarm the other person by listening, acknowledging their points and agreeing where possible. This reduces hostility. When people feel heard, they become less defensive and more ready to listen to you in return.

IDEA 1
Conflict can be transformed
Ury argues that conflict itself is not the enemy and cannot be eliminated. The goal is to transform destructive conflict into constructive forms where differences are handled with curiosity and respect.
IDEA 2
Be a possibilist
Ury describes himself as a possibilist, someone who believes better outcomes are possible even when situations seem hopeless. This attitude focuses on what can be done rather than on blame.
IDEA 3
Go to the balcony
Ury's first step is to step back mentally, as if watching from a balcony, before reacting. Pausing helps people stay calm, see the bigger picture and remember what they truly want.

Go deeper with William UryAsk questions, argue with the ideas and practise using them, free.