David Richo

How to Be an Adult in Relationships

1. IDEA 1

   Mature love needs five A's

   Richo argues that healthy adult relationships depend on giving and receiving five A's: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing. These are the same needs children have from parents, and adults continue to need them from partners.

2. IDEA 2

   Attention means listening fully

   Richo explains attention as being fully present with another person, listening without distraction. Feeling heard is a basic need. Richo suggests that giving someone our full attention tells them clearly that they matter to us.

3. IDEA 3

   Acceptance means seeing truly

   Acceptance means accepting a partner as they are, without trying to change them. Richo sees it as a gift. Richo suggests that feeling accepted allows a person to relax and grow rather than defend themselves.

All 8 ideas from How to Be an Adult in Relationships →