To Have or to Be?: 8 key ideas
The core ideas of To Have or to Be?, each in under a minute, written in our own words. Want the full depth? Get the book.
- IDEA 1 OF 8
Two modes of existence
Fromm describes two basic ways of living: the having mode, focused on owning and possessing, and the being mode, focused on experiencing, sharing and growing.
He argues that modern society pushes people towards having.
- IDEA 2 OF 8
Having seeks possession
In the having mode, people define themselves by what they own, including things, status and even knowledge.
This leads to anxiety about losing them. Fromm argues that such a person feels empty without possessions, since their sense of who they are depends on keeping them.
- IDEA 3 OF 8
Being seeks experience
In the being mode, people focus on living fully, loving and creating.
Identity comes from activity rather than ownership. Fromm believes that this way of living is more alive, since a person enjoys things for themselves instead of trying to own them.
- IDEA 4 OF 8
Learning can be having or being
Fromm contrasts students who memorise to possess knowledge with those who engage deeply with ideas.
The second approach transforms them. For the first, a lecture is notes to store for exams; for the second, it can change how they see the world.
- IDEA 5 OF 8
Love can be possessive
Fromm argues that love in the having mode tries to own the other person.
Love in the being mode respects and nurtures. Fromm believes such possessive love can feel like a cage, while love in the being mode lets both people keep growing freely.
- IDEA 6 OF 8
Consumer society encourages having
Fromm criticises consumer culture for encouraging endless buying and possession.
He sees this as harmful to people and the planet. In his view, when people measure their worth by what they buy and own, they are never satisfied and always want more.
- IDEA 7 OF 8
A new society is needed
Fromm proposes changes towards a society that values being, with more participation and less consumption.
He imagines a humane economy. He believes such a change would let people spend their energy on growing, sharing and creating, instead of competing to own more.
- IDEA 8 OF 8
Change starts within
Fromm argues that individuals can move towards the being mode by changing priorities.
Inner change supports social change. He thinks that if enough people choose to live differently, their example can slowly shape the wider society.
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