Thomas A. Harris

I'm OK, You're OK

1. IDEA 1

   Four life positions shape us

   Harris describes four basic life positions people adopt in childhood: I'm not OK, you're OK; I'm not OK, you're not OK; I'm OK, you're not OK; and I'm OK, you're OK. These positions influence how people see themselves and others.

2. IDEA 2

   Children often feel not OK

   Harris argues that young children, small and dependent, often conclude that they are not OK while adults are OK. This position can last into adulthood. Harris says this early feeling is formed before a child can understand it fully.

3. IDEA 3

   Three ego states guide behaviour

   Building on Eric Berne's ideas, Harris explains the Parent, Adult and Child states within each person. Understanding them helps explain behaviour. Harris presents these as three ways of thinking, feeling and acting that everyone has.

All 8 ideas from I'm OK, You're OK →