Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan

Crucial Conversations

1. IDEA 1

   Some conversations matter most

   The authors define a crucial conversation as one where the stakes are high, opinions differ and emotions run strong. They argue that people often handle these conversations badly, either avoiding them or turning them into fights.

2. IDEA 2

   Start with what you really want

   The authors suggest starting with heart: asking what you really want for yourself, the other person and the relationship. This keeps you focused. When you remember your real goal, you are less likely to win the argument and lose the person.

3. IDEA 3

   Fill the pool of shared meaning

   The authors describe a pool of shared meaning, the information everyone brings to a conversation. Good dialogue adds to the pool. When people hold back their opinions, the pool stays small and the group makes weaker choices together.

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