Carol Tavris

Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)

1. IDEA 1

   We justify mistakes to feel good

   Tavris and Aronson argue that when people make mistakes, they usually justify them instead of admitting fault. This self-justification protects their self-image as good and competent, but stops them from learning.

2. IDEA 2

   Dissonance drives self-justification

   The engine of self-justification is cognitive dissonance: the discomfort of holding two clashing beliefs, such as I am smart and I made a foolish choice. People ease the discomfort by changing their story, not their behaviour.

3. IDEA 3

   Small choices push us apart

   The authors describe a pyramid of choice: two people start at the top, almost identical, and each small decision pushes them down opposite sides. After justifying each step, they end up far apart and certain.

All 8 ideas from Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) →