Adele Faber

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

1. IDEA 1

   Respectful talk changes family life

   Faber and Mazlish, drawing on workshops with parents, describe ways of talking with children that reduce conflict and build cooperation. They argue that how adults speak shapes how children feel and behave.

2. IDEA 2

   Feelings deserve acknowledgement

   The authors argue that children feel calmer when adults name and accept their feelings instead of dismissing them. Feeling understood helps children cope. In their view, a child who feels understood is more willing to talk and to listen.

3. IDEA 3

   Cooperation can be invited

   The authors suggest ways to encourage cooperation, such as describing a problem rather than blaming. Children respond better to information than orders. In their view, a short note or a plain statement often works better than a long scolding.

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